I Watched Them [Spoilers]


What a weekend. I was able to take in two viewings of the long-awaited film Watchmen. And I have a few things to say. Don’t read if you’re worried about spoilers.

Ok, so to start off, I really did love the movie. I found it an adaptation that was very true to the source and highly enjoyable. It was great to see everything from the book brought to life. The casting was spot-on. I was completely amazed at how perfectly cast everyone was. Dan (Night Owl) looked exactly like the drawings and it was his casting that I was most impressed with. The only person I really didn’t care for was the girl playing Laurie Jupiter (Silk Spectre). She was good, but just didn’t seem to fit to me.

Yes, there are a lot of elements cut from the final film, but that is completely understandable. The run time is 2hrs 40min, but it didn’t even feel that way to me. Not once did I ever get restless or felt the need to look at my clock to see how far in we were. I was just so immersed in the story.

Many people were upset about the lack of Tale of the Black Freighter. I didn’t, in any way, expect it to make it into the final cut. And that was fine with me. Having it included in the film would really have killed the pacing, plus it left time for the overall story to really take center stage. Fortunately, Tale of the Black Freighter will be released to dvd at the end of the month in animated form. I really think this was the best direction to go in and I will definitely be picking that up.

Now a few things I didn’t agree with. First, the action sequences. So it’s no secret that in the book there were some disturbing scenes of violence, but director Zack Snyder, being the person he is, thought it was a good idea to multiply it by 100. The fight scenes were over-the-top with blood and gore. Teeth a bashed in, bones are broken and sent protruding through the skin, knives are thrust into bodies and arms are severed all without a single cut away. It was pure masturbation of the unenjoyable sort. Seriously, why do we need all that? The answer is we don’t. But we’re living in the times of “Torture Porn” unfortunately.

Second; gratuitous sex. Ok, so they kept Dr. Manhattan naked and did some nice cgi renderings of big blue cock. I’m perfectly happy with that. I enjoyed it thoroughly as I am quite sick of having to see tits in nearly every movie I go to these days. Also, it’s bullshit that you can show pussy and tit and get away with a PG-13 rating, yet anything on a guy requires an automatic R. You have some explaining MPAA. Rant over.

So the big sex scene… well it had to be there because it is in the book and it does have a purpose. But in the film it was just awful. It was set to the worst version (and yes I realize it is the original, but it is awful and far better versions exist) of the worst part of the song Hallelujah. It lasted for FAR too long and wasn’t sexy. In fact, it was horribly uncomfortable. You could feel the awkward tension in the theater as people tried to giggle it off. Massive FAIL. And I never use that expression.

And the point that has set off all the fanboys. Ok, so I’ve read the book and absolutely love it and thought the ending was pretty awesome. Having said that, after two viewings, I have to say I like the film’s ending. I’ve flip-flopped on this a bit, but have come to the conclusion that it just fits. It makes more sense in terms of the story, to be honest and it sets the film apart from the graphic novel. I think a lot of people are finding this to be true, because I really haven’t heard that much internet bitchery about it with the exception of the hilarious video I’ll post at the end.

Now if you paid attention to the beginning of the film, you’ll notice that “it” is there, but not in the way everyone expected. If you watch the monitor when Dr. M transports that machine to Veidt’s lab, there is a sign behind him that says S.Q.U.I.D. I couldn’t read what each letter stood for because I only noticed it at the last second. So for all the fans, you have a bit of what you wanted.

Now if you haven’t seen the movie AND read the book, you shouldn’t watch this video unless you don’t plan on doing either.


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