The Trouble With Sports Movies…

You know what I figured out a long time ago that I hate, yet everyone here seems to love? Sports films. But not just any sports films. No. These are the bona fide, “based on a true story” kind. Let me break it down for you.

There is a tried a true formula to making a sports film that the movie studios have been exploiting for years.

  1. Take a small town high school tense with racial prejudices.
  2. A sports team that hasn’t won a single game in some years’ time.
  3. Just when things are looking the most bleak, send in a middle-aged leading man who just skirts the fringe of the A-list.

And voilà! Suddenly everyone gets quite good. And, hey, maybe whites can learn to get along with blacks, who end up trumping them on the field anyway. We’re singing on the bus and laughing in the showers with homoeroticism as an unintended overtone.

It’s the same poorly disguised package every time and once we’ve forgotten the Titans we have Marshall to take their place in any given sport.

But what happened to Rudy and Hoosiers? Where is that caliber of athletic cinema gone? I can only assume that it contracted a horrible cancer, crashed in a plane or found some other sad and pathetic mode of death and isn’t likely to resurrect itself anytime soon.

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